*So much Dmitri loving going on around here. It’s been a joy seeing the various bits of his personality emerge as the days go by. Affectionate. Independent. Silly. Needy. Aloof. A study in contradictions. What cat isn’t.
*Frustration. Lots of that lately. With lots of things: flare that won’t end, getting further behind by the day with school, inability to get everything organized, the slow pace of gift making. Thing is though, I’m proud of myself. Yes, the frustration is there, but I’m not letting it overwhelm me.
*The search for a dog to fit into our family has begun. I still miss Bacon more than I can say. So many times I have to stop myself from calling him when a bit food falls on the floor, so many times I imagine the sound of this tags jingling, so many times I see that sweet beagle face in my mind and I just can’t stop the tears from welling. He wasn’t there singing “Happy Birthday” with us for Rich’s birthday or for Max’s birthday…and it sounded so wrong without him howling along. Christmas will never be the same; Bacon had more Christmas joy than any person I’ve ever known. No one wants another dog to take his place. Which is good, because no other dog ever could. But I think we’ve reached the point where we’re ready to welcome a new personality into our home. A dog to make her/his own place in our family.
*Enjoying autumn. Finally. (Summer weather both arrived a month early and departed a month late this year.) And it’s been a very mild autumn for the most part thus far. (Though maybe snow this weekend–trying not to get my hopes up.) Anyway, enjoying the goodness of the season, yes indeed. Oh how I love all the seasons. The reds, the oranges, the yellows–all my favorite colors. The pumpkin, pumpkin, everywhere–pumpkin waffles, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin snack cake. All the creepy, mysterious, unsettling reads. Oooh, and a new discovery–Tim Hortons’ hot caramel apple cider. Heavenly.
*Flapjack, Flapjack, Flapjack. I can’t help but feel amazed on a daily basis over what a large chunk of my heart you have taken. How did I ever survive the first 51 years of my life without a sweet guinea pig like you in it?!!
*Tomorrow is Dewey’s Readathon. As I started to type those words, I got lost in a million thoughts. Yes, there is still a very real feeling that my heart is being crushed because I miss her so very much. But there is so much happiness in my memories. And so much gratitude for all the things I encounter throughout my days that remind me so powerfully of Dewey. I sometimes envy those who believe in an afterlife, and maybe it’s the fact that I don’t that makes me so profoundly comforted by and thankful for every piece of her that lives in my memories. And, I’m not sure how to put this into words, but I’m comforted also by the fact that all the other people who where lucky enough to know her carry around their own memories, and across this world there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of different memories of her living in hearts and minds of people. I don’t know if that’s weird or overly sentimental, but I know it helps me to know that.